Heartache
by serotonin
Summary: Sydney walked the empty streets of Los Angeles, tired and lonely. Her heart ached, but her face was placid, almost bland. She was careful to show no emotion, shed no tear...


Heartache  
  
Sydney walked the empty streets of Los Angeles, tired and lonely. Her heart ached, but her face was placid, almost bland. She was careful to show no emotion, shed no tear...  
  
Dedication: my good friend Tristram Rich, may you rest in peace.  
  
~~  
  
A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried, neither would a million tears I know because I've cried.  
  
~~  
  
Sydney walked the empty streets of Los Angeles, tired and lonely. Her heart ached, but her face was placid, almost bland. She was careful to show no emotion, shed no tear. Instead, she let her heart crack into a million pieces, and be replaced by a piece of stone.  
  
Her eyes fell upon a distant couple, who only had eyes for each other. They had normalcy. They had it all. No lying or hiding or silently wondering if the other would even come home at night, let alone be on time. They didn't have to worry about assassins, or business trips, or even bloodstains on the laundry.  
  
Time passed, and Sydney found herself on campus. She could feel the tears begin to well in the corners of her eyes, desperate to get out. Instead, Sydney pinched her ear, stopping the flow of water from getting any further. She fought an old memory, one of Danny on his knees on this very grass. Proposing.  
  
God. It all seemed like so long ago. So many days had passed, spent as so many different people. Her life would never lack change. But change was not always a good thing. Sometimes change could lead to mistakes that could get you harmed, or worse, killed.  
  
To kill a mockingbird. A book that Sydney had read in senior year. 'You can shoot all the blue jays that you want, but remember that it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.' That was what Danny was. A mockingbird. And they had shot him too many times. For what? To make Sydney go against them? To make her go to the CIA and begin the process of bringing them down, a mission might be successful, but at what cost?  
  
The memories threatened to overflow, and Sydney found herself curled up on a bench, crying her eyes out. She lay there for hours, but nobody came. Nobody knew what she was going through. How could they? What had happened in Taipei had been devastating enough, but to lose Jack and Will as well, just as they thought they had gotten to freedom? That was just too much.  
  
Lying on the bench, Sydney watched as false dawn came. She watched as birds begun to fly about the air, happy to greet the new day. Happy was not something Sydney wanted to think about at the moment. She had lost too many people to want to be happy.  
  
Sydney felt one last tear fall out of her eye, and run down her cheek. She ran her finger over it, remembering what it felt like to have someone else wipe away the tears. To have someone who could tell her that it was going to be all right, that everything would soon be ok.  
  
Standing, Sydney took a deep breath of air, watching the cloud her breath made in the cold morning air. She looked around. Some how she had walked over to a cliff, which one she did not care. Walking over, she looked down, to see that the ground was a mile down.  
  
Sydney stood on the cliff face feeling the wind rush through her hair. The rising sun was warm against her back and she watched as the full moon began to sink behind the horizon.  
  
She took one step forward, lifting her right foot, and began to step off the edge.  
  
Behind her, a man called out.  
  
"No!! Sydney don't!"  
  
Too late, Vaughn ran up to the edge and watched as the woman he loved plummeted to the ground below. He laughed the bitter laugh of irony, before jumping off himself to join her.  
  
~~  
  
If this is love, why does my heart ache?  
  
If this is love, why did my heart break?  
  
~  
  
These words belong to me, so don't use them unless you ask. I am using them for another purpose at the minute and don't want them taken.  
  
Otherwise, please review and tell me what you think of my first Alias fic. 


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